A Funny and Slightly Informative Look at How to Get rid of Wrinkles

Congratulations, you have lived long enough to develop wrinkles. The problem is they are something you’d like to hide or get rid of rather than displaying them as a sign of longevity. Society’s campaign against facial wrinkles has become a multi-million dollar industry and their negative associations have instilled even teenagers with a deep fear of their development. Some women are filled with a striking sense of terror when they notice their first face wrinkle – almost as if it’s a sign that their youth has come to an end. Flawless skin is so prized by popular media that anything otherwise is seemingly horrific. From a biological perspective, wrinkles are natural occurrence when collagen in your skin breaks down over the years. But who cares about that, right? You want to get rid of those facial wrinkles and would stop at nothing short of poisoning Snow White and stealing her eternal beauty; although, if they could somehow bottle that you would probably buy it. This article will briefly outline available methods for face wrinkle prevention and removal, and then light-heartedly offer some alternative strategies.

How to Prevent Wrinkles

The number one thing you can do to prevent wrinkles is drink water. Without proper hydration, your skin cells suffer and you can develop that cracked leathery appearance and dry skin. When it comes to wrinkle treatment, a lot can be prevented if you stay out of the sun’s harmful rays. When you can, wear a hat to protect your face and clothing on area that you can. Sun screen and limiting sun exposure is also vital, not just for preventing wrinkles but also unsightly moles and of course, the big “C”. Speaking of cancer, you’d also do yourself a huge favour by not smoking. You don’t even need to understand the science behind how smoking prematurely ages the skin to be able to equate cigarettes and wrinkles. One cigarette contains so many chemicals that it would take the ultimate wrinkle treatment to deal with all the toxins that are exposed to your skin. All in all, wrinkle treatment and prevention falls in line with healthy living and things you want to be doing anyways. Wrinkles are going to develop naturally no matter what you do, so there’s no need to help them out by not taking care of yourself.

Getting Rid of Wrinkles

Things that fall under the category of maintenance rather than prevention include Vitamin A, fruit acids, anti oxidants and facials. Vitamin A and healthy looking skin go together like rabbits and carrots. After the initial peeling effect, Vitamin A application can leave a smoother surface behind. Alpha Hydroxy acids and anti oxidants can be found in commercial wrinkle creams and these elements are probably already familiar to those who frequently purchase skin care products. Alpha Hydroxys are essentially fruit acids that have rejuvenating effects while anti oxidants work to negate the work of free radicals associated with the sun and pollution. These are both popular components of skin care products on the market today – and they have been shown to get rid of wrinkles.

A full list of available wrinkle creams or lotions would be long, and it would still take personal testing to find which wrinkle treatment fits your lifestyle. You can look here for  a more comprehensive look at some of the best anti aging products. Rather than providing detailed information about all the products and methods out there, this article will instead offer some lesser known strategies of dealing with facial wrinkles (disclaimer: these aren’t serious!):

Don’t go out. Not as in “don’t go out” and avoid the sun, more like “don’t go out” and avoid people. You won’t have to worry about wrinkles if no one can see them, and just avoid mirrors so you don’t have to see them yourself.

Put a bag over your head. If you have to go out then just get a simple paper bag and place it on your head. Make sure to cut holes so you can see. Or better yet, decorate your paper bag with a face so that you don’t look too freakish in public. A crayon mouth and big googly eyes will insure a friendly appearance that won’t scare children.

Preparation H. It is unclear whether or not Preparation H actually works, but some people really swear by it to get rid of wrinkles. If you happen to have some Preparation H then by all means give it a shot. And please accept my sympathies for being in the unenviable position of not only having wrinkles, but hemorrhoids as well.

Surprises! Tell your husband every chance he gets to try and scare your socks off. Have him jump out of the shower or hide live mice in the rice cooker. The resulting uncontrollable shock will make your face stretch to elastic proportions, thereby eliminating lines around your forehead and screaming mouth.

And lastly…

Try not to stress about wrinkles. For real, chances are they aren’t as bad as you perceive them to be. It really is an unfair deal that women have been subjected to the double standard that wrinkles are ugly. Go ahead and use whichever product you feel necessary (Oil of Olay is quite popular)but also try to replace the negative and ridiculous messages that society has about beauty with humour and perspective. Companies make millions of dollars off of people’s fears and insecurities and it’s time we give them a few stress wrinkles on their faces by refusing to live by their rules.

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